It is 2019. Today in Cabo there are sunny skies, and flowers in the garden. The year began with a parcial sun eclipse, as we head into a new change of consciousness, one ruled by the great Guru.
Saturn is the planet of karma, the planet that reminds you to stay true to your spiritual journey, to do the work, to give structure to your existence in a way that allows you to evolve.
This is not an article about astrology, but how can we talk about insight without looking up first and observe the stars above, planetary alignments, aspects they make to each other, and feel their elemental electric and magnetic energies. "As above, so below" is advice for the ages.
We, as human beings, are electro magnetic conductors of energy, we vibrate in the form of subatomic particles that behave also like waves. We go through life "feeling" are way through. We electrify that which we want to illuminate and in correspondence to this light, we attract what we desire, in magnetic fields of intention.
In my experience, the ignorance of these two forces is what keeps us in chaos. And chaos is what we know best. So we create it as a way to find order in our lives.
Those who know me, know that I have been through deep transformation these past 6 months. The kind of transformation that only happens after loss. If you have lost something dear to you, you understand what I mean. The process of renaissance begins through dying completely, and it includes a deep dive into the why's of this universe. Why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? Who orchestrates life and death cycles, and how is it decided that it is you who must die in order to be born again.
The search for meaning, when you are suffering, is a fine line between enlightenment and insanity. After the experience of intense shock, one can observe that as if the mind was naturally avoiding insanity, it finds refuge in order, which in my case inspired me to dive deep into the Universal order of things, through my practice of astro yoga, and focus my attention into the breathing of the information being channelled, then observe those sensation instead.
It has been a full lunar cycle, from one eclipse to the other, in the same space in the sky, since Kala Joy passed to a better life. She was 9 months old. She died before crossing the sublime veils of the womb into this world, and she was born after hard labor without a heart beat. When exactly? We don't know, how exactly? We don't know. The doctors said her case is what we call "natural selection."
Yes, sure, I can give you many ideas, "feelings", assumptions of what I think happened, when it happened, how it happened, after all she was inside my womb. Kala Joy was my daughter. But the truth is, that I will never know why. I just know this is what it is, and life goes on.
So when ROAR magazine asked me to write an essay for one of their full moon editions, it was through writing that the process of healing unfolded. Having to structure (Saturn) my feelings (moon) into words (Mercury), help me transform (Pluto) the very idea of "I". You can read this article inside ROAR Fierce Feminine Rising January's Wolf Full Moon edition, may it be healing to you as well.
I hope you allow me to say that Death is a mystery that makes us so vulnerable, that mostly everyone lacks the insight to have an open conversation about it, so one of its teachings when it visits is a reflection into the collective unconscious. People say and do the most unexpected, before Death. Some expand, some contract, and that is how you know. I am deeply grateful to everyone who took a step closer to embrace my suffering, and I am also deeply grateful to all those who took a step back. Yet, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am most grateful for those who disappeared, as I truly believe based on experience that the hardest task in the journey towards enlightenment is to sustain everyone's ideas of the world, and how they think you "have to" feel, think, do, and be. As electromagnetic fields that we are, the different vibes, literally vibrations, that make the spectrum of human beings does not mix well, as an array of pushing and pulling energies get out of balance to the lay person, who like me, tries to evolve through the higher education of energy and vibration. To put it simply, everything in the Universe is music, but it is not all written in the same key or the same tempo, and there is nothing more challenging to experience than two melodies out of tune with each other. So, thank you who in their judgement of what they thought things were, separated their path from mine. Blessed be, may you all be happy.
Many lessons I have to share with you whenever you feel inspired, but the one lesson that resonated strongly as a reality, in this community, happened when I was looking for a Yogi who could take on teaching the yoga students who attend practice with me, while I retreated in mourning. As I inquire into the experience of others, a common answer kept arising in their opinions. I heard stories like, "I loved her yoga, but then she showed a temper and well, how can a temperamental person possible teach about yoga." Or, "Ha, he is giving a workshop about the "yoga of relationships", but he is single, and is known for his broken relationships"....
I will pause so you can read it again.
"I loved her/his yoga, but then she/her showed a temper and well, how can a temperamental person possible teach about yoga." Or, "Ha, she/he is giving a workshop about the "yoga of relationships", but she/he is single, and is known for her/his broken relationships"....
As for my lesson on this, here it is: This is how we people tend to judge the teachings of others, we judge the teaching by what we think of the teacher as a person. Thought this is understandable and has its own wisdom of discernment, when we do that we forget that the teacher is within and that the person in the role of the teacher is merely a mirror to ourselves.
If you are a person of the opinion that no one is allowed to teach a subject unless they have succeeded in their mastery, let me tell you, you are missing the opportunity to grow, and validate your own journey. In other words, if you are one that believes that unless a person shows a golden aura which "proves" that she or he is the son of GOD you will crucified them as Jesus was crucified for daring to teach about spirituality and the journey of the Spirit | mind | body manifestation through the practice of love, compassion, and service to the other. You are missing the point, yet it is understandable since you are keeping yourself from the experience itself.
I guess the lesson I want to share with you here is: Open the heart. Everyone is teaching us something all the time, but, most importantly, through the experiencing of others we awaken the teacher within, as one true arises from the insight of teaching, and that is that we only teach as a way of learning. Who better to teach about how to align our practice to calm our temper, than a temperamental teacher. Or who better to teach about the yoga of relationships than a teacher who through broken relationships keeps educating himself about how to relate better with each other.
Eventually wisdom tells us that we only teach what we ourselves are learning, through our own experience.
May my ego dissolve (Neptune), may my individuality unite (Uranus), may my actions (Mars) reflect pure consciousness (Sun), may I expand my beliefs about happiness (Jupiter), may I balance my relationships and my values (Venus), may I ground my Self (Earth), may I develop my equanimity (yoga), may I understand the ancient wisdom of the science of light (Astrology) and rise from the ashes illuminated by the insight of the Guru, whose service to humanity is a perfectly balanced dance between darkness and light, a stardust of time and space, a perfectly impermanent rainbow. (Universe)
May I be happy, may I be peaceful, May I be liberated from suffering; A mantra for the ages.
Thank you for your teachings.
Namaste.
:)
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